Drugs, Sex, & Another Day Seized
by Mr. Mature
Summary: This is about a day when Phineas and Ferb's finds out that they can't afford to build another project, so they do something drastic.  Featuring: Phineas, Ferb, Isabella, and Gretchen.  Profanity, drugs, and sex are included.  You have been warned.


I was just sitting by under my tree just thinking of something to do. After a couple of minutes of brainstorming, without any help from my annoyingly silent brother, I finally figured out what to do to solve the bitch of my boredom. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! We're gonna build the biggest pool ever!"

So I went over to start drawing the blueprints and realized that I haven't checked my bank accounts in a while. I looked it up and found out all I didn't even have a fucking cent. I was horrified. So I walked up to my brother and yelled, "FUCK! Did you know we don't have a fucking cent anymore? God dammit! How the _fuck_ are we gonna be able to pay for our projects now?"

Ferb just walked over to me and calmly said, "Bro, chill the fuck down. I got my connections from Argentina. Looks like _I_ know what we're doing today. We're gonna start selling some fucking drugs."

I was astonished by my brother's brilliant plan. Of course, I shouldn't be. He always comes up with the best fucking plans ever. So, I called all of the numbers and started piling this shit up. We got all the fucking shit: cocaine, weed, LSD, heroin, meth, ecstasy, and opium.

"Damn bro, we got a lot of shit to sell."

He silently nodded his head. He then went over and started rolling up a joint.

"Ferb! What the fuck? We're supposed to be selling that shit, not using it!'

He just turned his head around, after finishing making his joint, and said, "This shit is fucking amazing, and you sell a whole hell of a lot more by using it then selling. I envy you. I've already gotten a million hits of this shit, but you, you're clean. The first hit is always the best, it just is fucking amazing." He started lighting up his joint, took in a deep breath, and turned back around. "Damn, this shit is _so _good bro. Come on and fucking try this shit bro." he added after his hit.

So I just looked at him, perplexed. I finally gave into his calmed stare; best fucking choice of my life. He rolled me up a joint, lit it up, and gave it to me. I was hesitant at first, since I've never done this shit before. I finally stuck it in my mouth, and took the biggest fucking breath of my life. It was pure amazing. Damn, you just don't understand how fucking amazing this was for me.

"Holy shit, bro." was all I could say before calmly sitting down under my tree, Ferb copying me. I was watching fucking rainbows shit everywhere in the sky when a young Mexican-Jewish girl bitch walk right in front of my amazing view.

"Hey Phineas, uh, watcha doin'?" she said, clearly confused. She was definitely staring straight into my bloodshot eyes.

Ferb and I just took one glance at each other and knew what to do. I said, "Hey, Isabella come over here! I want to show you something!" While I was distracting Isabella, Ferb was rolling up another joint. Isabella walked up to me cautiously.

"What are you guys doing, Phineas? Why are your eyes all bloodshot? Are you sick or something?" she continued asking while she walked over my way.

"Just come over here, I want you to try something."

She walked over my way and sat right next to me with a questioning look. She then saw Ferb hand me over the joint and started freaking out. "What in the world? Are you guys _high_? No! No no no no no no no! I'm not gonna do that!"

God damn she was talking so fucking loud and fast for me to handle. "Shut the fuck up, and calm the fuck down, Isabella!" She looked astonished as she heard me, since she never heard me say anything along those lines. "Just take the fucking hit!"

She continued being a loud bitch about it, saying she's a "good little Jewish girl" and that "God never did anything like that". So, naturally, I started getting pissed. One look to Ferb and he knew what to do. He grabbed Isabella from behind, finally stopping her fucking rambling, and forced her mouth open. I took the joint, and stuck it in her fucking mouth. She continued being an annoying bitch and tried her best not to inhale through her mouth. I closed up her nose as she tried to get free and not breathe in. Finally, she had to breath, and took the biggest hit of her fucking life.

After her first hit, she finally calmed the fuck down. We all finally got to sit down underneath the huge fucking tree. God damn it was huge. I fucking fit a whole secret lair in that shit. Those nice fucking rainbows started to dance with the world, and the tree danced as well. Of course, then my big sister had to come in and fuck up everything.

"What the fuck are you two bitch motherfuckers doing?" She yelled coming out of the house with bloodshot eyes and a powdery substance on her lip.

"Sis, you gotta lay off that crack. Makes you go fuckin' crazy. And for your question, we're trying to relax smoking our blunts." I chilly said. Why can't she ever just fucking calm down and have fun with us?

"Ooh I'm gonna bust you guys! You know you shouldn't be using drugs! I'm calling mo-om!" She rambled. Damn woman wouldn't shut the fuck up, and we were getting fucking tired of it.

Ferb, that damn bad-ass, walked straight up to her and knocked her the fuck out. Funniest fucking thing I ever saw. She was laid out on the grass, blood running down her nose, out fucking cold. We burst out laughing at the sight.

Finally, we decided we actually had to start selling this shit. We picked up a fuckload of crack and pot to sell first and headed off. It was still as fucking crazy as before with all this happy dancing shit everywhere. We just kept on going until we hit the ghetto part of the city.

Ferb knew exactly how to get the attention of everyone in the neighborhood. He yelled, "Nigger!" Instantly, every fucking man came out with their assortment of weapons and shit. They just passed right over us, thinking we were too young for yelling out shit like that.

We just pulled out our bags of crack and pot and lines were lined up. Every fucking person made sure to get an ounce of each, those fucking dumbasses. We were making bank.

Also, throughout the whole fucking time of selling our drugs, Isabella kept her eyes glued to me. Damn she looked fucking hot as she bit her lower lip, clearly thinking about something. I had to try to refrain from taking her right there; fucking hard when you're high. Out of miraculous will of Jesus, or some shit like that, I had the ability to be able to just stayed there, but I did grow a huge hard-on at the thought of banging her and listening to her moans and screams…

I shook my head to try to get rid of the thought. I do expect to do that, perhaps soon, just not right now. I had drugs to sell. Finally after every fucking guy in the whole ghetto part left, high as a fucking plane, we left. We only had enough weed for one last blunt, so we rolled one up and smoked it between the three of us. Right in the middle of smoking that beautiful blunt, Gretchen came by. She was fucking exasperated at the sight of us. We burst out laughing at her reaction. It was almost as hilarious at Candace's knocked out body. She came over, wiped her eyes and glasses, and started to talk, "What in the world are you guys doing? I expected more of you! Blah blah blah!"

We all just continued laughing at her reaction that stayed on her face. We all looked at each other, nodded, then Ferb and Isabella grabbed her and opened her mouth. She looked at me with a pleading face as I prepared to put the blunt in her mouth. She looked like a fucking innocent, helpless puppy. So I did what any high man would do, I put the fucking blunt in her mouth and pinched her nose.

She did the same thing that Isabella did, held her breath as long as she could. Finally, she gave in and took the first hit of her life. Damn did she sway. She was fucking higher than the moon. She relaxed and we all just went to Isabella's house, as to not run into Candace, that cunt.

When we got there we found out Isabella's blabbering mom wasn't home, thank God, or malls. We went inside and Isabella and I decided to sit outside and enjoy all of the fucking hallucinations. Ferb and Gretchen didn't want to do that. Gretchen walked up to Ferb, whispered something into his ear, and walked up to the guest room.

As Isabella and I sat together outside, we could hear the moans of Gretchen and the grunts of Ferb. I started imagining that those moans were Isabella's and the grunts were mine. I imagined the scene: Isabella would be on the bead, completely naked, with me on top of her. I would be cupping her breasts and be at the gate of our innocence, and then—

"Thanks so much Phineas!" her voice broke into my imagination.

"Uh, you're welcome, Isabella." My boner was attempting to be the center of attention. I was trying my best to hide it underneath my hands, hoping that Isabella wasn't noticing.

"This is so amazing! The wonders of drugs, huh?" She then started picking up on the grunts and moans coming from inside. "I wonder what they are doing that's making so much noise…"

I just continued to nod at what she was saying, not really paying attention. I was too busy trying to not let my stiffness come into her attention.

"Hey, Phineas, why don't we go see! Come one, we'll be all spy and stuff!" She then proceeded to make a fake gun with her hands and put her back on the wall, waiting for me to follow.

I was too preoccupied to understand what she was saying. "_Come on dick!"_ I was thinking to myself, _"Go down! Isabella will see! Go D-O-W-N!"_

"Phineas, you coming?" After I didn't respond, she said, "Hello-o? Phineas? Phineas!"

"Wha— OH! Um, hey Isabella!" I cast on my usual smile, while still trying to focus on putting down my boner.

"Come on! Let's go!" She started to become impatient, and, seeing that I still didn't stand, started walking to me to pick me up.

_Shit! Shit! Shit!_ Was all I could think right before Isabella got to me. And by the grace of God, my boner, seeing that the time was right, finally went away. She helped me up, assumed her spy look, and started walking inside. I followed right behind her, still confused on what was happening.

We traveled around her house. The moans and grunts were reverberated throughout the house. Isabella led us to the source, though I was still confused. That is, until she put her hand on the knob. I was about to protest, but I was too slow, for she had already pushed open the door.

Isabella and I stood there, motionless. The sight in front of us grew back my boner in an instant. Ferb was drilling Gretchen like no tomorrow. He splattered with sweat, as was Gretchen, and breathing heavily like an animal. Every grunt added an extra thrust into Gretchen, as did every moan. His rock hard dick was only noticed for a split second, before it was hidden inside of Gretchen. They didn't seem to see us as they continued their fucking session.

After about a minute of being completely stiff, I was finally able to move. My dick was attempting to rip my pants open and expose itself. I grabbed Isabella's arm, and pulled her back into the hallway. I closed the door and looked at her face, which was staring straight at my giant boner, with an exasperated look on her face.

_Author's Note:_

_ This includes: drugs, sex, and offensive language. God, this was fun to write. Well, obviously there will be a second chapter, and possibly more. We'll see about that. If you'd like to comment, comment; if not, don't. I will pressure nothing (except the subliminal message of teddy bears by using the first letters of the sentences at the beginning of this story). By the way, all of these morals are not mine in any way, especially the fucking profanity use. This means I don't do drugs or have random, high sex._

_ Mr. M_

_Post Script:_

_If you actually went back to see if the 'teddy bear' thing was real I will give you this internet ice-cream of any flavor you want with a cherry on top!_

_OOOOOo,_


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